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LOVING THEM IN SIN

A common objection I hear from people who want to justify withholding their kindness and affection from people who are stuck or struggling in sin is that they don’t want the person to mistake their kindness for approval of their sin. But why would we think that loving someone who is struggling in sin is agreeing with their sin or giving them a license to sin? I have often heard this type of thinking in the Church, and it is so contrary to the gospel. It is human wisdom, a way that seems right to a man but in the end leads to destruction (Prov. 14:12). We think that giving love, affection, and even blessing to someone who is in sin is somehow condoning their sin and empowering them to stay in it. So we punish our Christian brothers or sisters who are in sin by withholding our affection, placing strict demands on them, or warning them of the perils of their behavior.

Again, I am speaking of those who truly long for freedom. Those who want to justify their sinful behavior and are boasting about it should be warned and confronted (Matt. 18, 1 Cor. 5). The way I discern whether or not someone truly wants freedom from sin is a willingness to keep their heart open in relationship and walking in the light with their behavior. Contrastingly, those who are hesitant about walking in the light through confession and who close their heart off to relationship are often stuck and, at least in that moment, unwilling to be shepherded out of their misery. But more often than not, I have encountered believers who are truly broken over their sin and want nothing more than to be completely set free, which is why I have spent significant time addressing this issue.

So if it were true that we needed to punish others or ourselves for sinning, then God really messed up when He sent Jesus to die for us while we were sinning against Him. Why did He do this? Because He wanted us to see how valuable we are to His heart. Paul says that “according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight” (Eph. 1:7-8), we have been redeemed and forgiven. God thought it was wise to lavish sinners with grace. Do you realize that God was not guaranteed that we would respond to this amazing act of love? The very God we say we follow loved people in the midst of their darkest night to show them that they were made for so much more. But too often we want people to pay for their sins by proving a certain level of repentance. We conclude that if they continue in sin, they are not truly repentant, and we shun them. We lead them to believe that they have chosen this path of rebellion, and we leave them stuck in their sins instead of loving the sin out of them with the gospel of God.

My prayer is that pastors would come back to the gospel and that they would not just preach it to the lost but powerfully demonstrate it to their flocks. When the Church returns to the gospel, we will see the sons and daughters of God arise with robes of righteousness, and old sinful mindsets and habits that we once struggled with will fall away. Any restrictions of man-made religion that have been placed upon our lives will melt like wax, and we will be given Holy Spirit power to destroy the enemies that once plagued us!